In a previous article I was telling you about the toxic overlap between perfectionism and the pursuit of excellence. You’ll find here 3 of the most common justifications that pop into our minds when it comes to perfectionism:
- Perfectionism helps me overcome obstacles, it motivates me.
Perfectionism can mimic motivation, but is often more associated with procrastination or creative blocks. If perfectionists do not allow mistakes, they have a rather small space for experimentation, trial and error. Often, the perfectionist will only start or move ahead if certain conditions are met: a clean desk, all the data, inspiration, etc. Focusing exclusively on the result will also inhibit action. Many times, behind procrastination there is hidden perfectionism.
- Those around me appreciate me for my perfectionism
Have you ever worked with someone who is never satisfied, either with their own work or with the work of others? Someone who works according to a very rigid all-or-nothing ethic. Was it a pleasant or rather difficult experience?
Perfectionism puts a strain on relationships, both at the work and at home.
- Without perfectionism, I wouldn’t have gotten here. It is the key to my success.
Is the other way around. If we are successful, this happens despite perfectionism and at some very high costs, especially in those cases where the avoidance component (fear of failure) is prominent.
Fact check: Harvard Business Review conducted a meta-analysis of studies on perfectionism, trying to answer the following question: Do perfectionists perform better at work? The short answer: perfectionism is more of a weakness. The broad answer: perfectionists work longer hours and may be more engaged in work (although the correlation is weak), but they are significantly more vulnerable to burn-out, depression, anxiety.
Strategies for easing the hyper-demanding standards in your mind:
- Remember that you don’t have to prove something every single time. You really don’t.
- Ask yourself: What do I expect from myself in terms of results in this situation? If we were talking about a loved one, would I expect the same? What is the benchmark for a reasonable result? Reasonable, not perfect.
- Realize the price you pay for every action guided by perfectionism: time, resources, relationships, etc.
- Notice your tendency to see things in black/white and be critical. How does that affect you? And the others? Are things really as you see them?
- Set realistic goals, not demands of impossible standards.
